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This is the End

Let me preface this by saying that if you like or dislike a movie, it doesn't make you a bad person. You're free to enjoy or hate anything that you want, and I'm in no position to judge you. After all, I'm the guy who thinks “Watchmen” is overrated, so obviously my tastes are terribly skewed in some aspects.

Also, I don't follow celebrities, least of all actors. What they do off camera is frankly their own business, and I find that the less I know about them as a person, the better I can see them as the character that they're trying to play. There are exceptions of course; I will always see David Tennent as the Doctor, and I will always see Emma Watson as Hermione. The latter of those two brings me neatly into the body of this article.

I don't think This is the End is a very good movie.

Hear me out.
It's by no means a “bad” movie, and I suppose I don't regret watching it, but this movie got the absolute hell hyped out of it (no pun intended if you've seen the film) and I mainly just sat waiting for whatever earned such praise to show up. It really never came (again, not a pun for those who have seen it).

For those of you who don't know,
This is the End stars a group of celebrities playing themselves dealing with the Biblical apocalypse (or a very loose interpretation thereof). That's not a spoiler, as you should really figure that out early on when the hell-mouths start opening. The story mainly focuses on Jay Baruchel, who has come to L.A. In the hopes of salvaging his friendship with Seth Rogen, who he feels has let Hollywood change him. They're at a party at the house of James Franco when the apocalypse starts. With the world crumbling around them, the group, which also includes Jonah Hill, Danny McBride and Craig Robinson, must try to survive the endtimes, and the company of one another.

I'll start by going through some of the positives. Little scenes can be good, like when dealing with Michael Cera. Individual jokes can get a chuckle. Craig Robinson (of Hot Tub Time Machine) is a supremely funny guy.

That's a rather short paragraph, I know, but those are all things worth mentioning. But, its time for why I did not view this as a great film. Firstly, the plot has a strange feeling of going from dragging its feet to overcompensating and rushing way too fast. While individual lines and jokes can be funny, whole scenes rarely are, and many of them drag jokes that weren't especially funny to begin with out to the point that they're just painful. The Emma Watson scene is a perfect example of this, but as the film is so new I won't spoil why.
You will be making this face by the end.


So why the warning? Well, I think this movie could have been accurately titled Dick Jokes and Demons...followed by more dick jokes. One of the most dragged out scenes is where James Franco and Danny McBride are screaming back and forth, arguing over how McBride ejaculated onto Franco's pornographic magazine. Does that sound funny enough to warrant a joke? No? Well, prepare for an entire scene of it. A long scene. A scene that never seems to end. A scene they reference again over, and over, over.
Basically, if I had to sum up the movie, it would be “here's the apocalypse. Celebrities are assholes and penises are hilarious.” Never before have I seen such a diverse rainbow of phallus related jokes. There are subtle ones, overt ones, visual gags, shock value gags, the list goes on.
And they rarely made me crack a smile.

Comedy is about setup. Its about building an expectation, and then dashing it. Storytelling as well relies on a buildup. It relies on things to be set up and foreshadowed, so that when there is a payoff it can be satisfying to the viewer. The biggest nail in the coffin of This is the End, to me, was its failure at setup and payoff. Jokes are just thrown around and dragged out, rarely set up in a substantial way. If you go watch that movie, just keep that in mind when the ending roles around.

You'll know what I'm talking about.


Super Smash Bros 4

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, a “nerdgasm” is a phenomenon in which the sight of something closely linked to something a person is very passionate about lights up so many positive emotion neurons that it evokes a sensation not dissimilar to nirvana with lightsabers.

Example: You're a huge comic fan, and in the post-credit scene of Iron Man 1, you see Nick Fury give the first plug that there's going to be an Avengers move. The reaction you had to that was probably a nerdgasm.

With that in mind, the next Super Smash Bros.

Despite the fact that I own neither a 3DS or a WII-U (a fact which may change around the release of Pokemon X and Y) I experienced a nerdgasm seeing this trailer. This is largely due to the fact that Super Smash Bros has been hands-down, no-contest my favorite multiplayer game in the history of anything ever. Its a simple concept that you can pick up in about no time: almost every button does damage, do damage to your opponents. Stay on the platform. But there's a technique and finesse to it that takes a lot of practice to master, such as sidestepping, the Zelda boot and my personal favorite: the spike, in which you throw an opponent off the edge, the jump out and do a downward smash to slam them off the screen.


Now to be fair, this new trailer doesn't show us a whole lot about the new game, save a few new maps and characters, but that's really all that's ever new. The biggest change that came from brawl was the addition of the smash balls, and I've met people who love and people who hate that.

I did not recognize the new locations, and they probably will make very little difference to someone who prefers to just play on Final Destination, so I have little to say about that. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I've also never played Animal Crossing, so when the trailer looked like it was about over, I was left feeling kind of disappointed.

Then, he arrived.

I have been questioning the absence of MegaMan since Melee. Surely you could get the iconic character that nintendo is actually known for before you put in, oh I don't know, Solid Snake? Sonic? And now, finally, MegaMan has come to join the party.

I don't have much more to say about this game, due to the amount of information that hasn't been released, but I'm always psyched for a new Smash Bros game, and I hope many of you are too.

Just so long as they haven't added more Starfox characters, because seriously, screw those guys.


Aweful Comic Thursday: Pilgrim Batman...

This is a thing that exists. Just...just LOOK at it. Someone drew this, someone brought this before a room of their peers and they went with it. Pro-tip: you cannot look cool in a hat like that. You. Just. CAN'T.


Awesome Comic Tuesday: Cowboy Batman

Don't get me wrong, I think the "Batman through Time" story arc was dumb. However, cowboy Batman is pretty badass. On the other hand...well, tune in Thursday.