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The Fat Kid Road Trip part 4: The Search for Spock

 Call me Ishmael.

Okay, don't actually do that, but finding the Moonshine Store was like our white whale. We crossed what felt like an endless sea of green fields, spying the waves of corn and hearing only our stomachs rumble in anticipation for something we were only mostly sure existed. Joey's epic road trip play list (which consisted of two techno remixes and the entire Ronnie James Dio cover album) did little to cure our impatience as the GPS led us deeper and deeper into the exact middle of nowhere.

My point is, if you ever feel like going to the Moonshine Store yourself, don't be discouraged by the absolute lack of anything anywhere. Likewise, don't be daunted by what looks like an old farmhouse, because that's exactly what this place is.


Name: Moonshine Store
Locations: Martinsville, IL
Suggested by: Joel
Some say he's written works that would put Chaucer to shame. All we know is, he's Joel.
Despite the extremely remote location the Moonshine Store is a crowded place. Located at 6017 E. 300th Rd in Martinsville, the store is open from 6 a.m. to 1 p.m., and you'd best not wait until the last minute to get there, because once they run out of beef, they close up shop for the day on the spot.

The inside of the facility is like if all the nick-knacks of a hundred Cracker Barrels were swept in by a tornado of charmingly quaint antiquities. There are no tables, no chairs, just a counter to order, a table of condiments a rack of chips and some coolers of drinks. Memorabilia aside, it's probably the most straightforward and least gimmicky establishment I've ever experienced. When you sit down at the picnic tables outside the building though, you aren't worried about that. No, you've trekked through some of the most barren stretches of Illinois to get here, and you're only worry is whether the food in front of you is up to par.

Did it ever exceed my expectations. To have a place this far from any town, this far from what could reasonably be called your target buyers, and to have it be so crowded, you have to be doing something right, and what the Moonshine Store does right are the burgers. I have no idea what they do, I don't know what kind of beef they use, but something about the way these things are cooked makes for a wonderful slab of meat on a bun.  

Whether or not the food is worth the trip probably depends entirely on how much you like hamburger, or beef in general. If you like it as much as I do, then this one is a no-brainer.