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Aweful Comic Thursday

In not so awesome curbstomp battles, we have a scene that would probably have taken place in the imagination of a 12-year-old. The wonders of testicular-trauma humor.


Nintendo vs. X-Box vs. Sony

There are a few terms attributed to video game culture that leave a bad taste in my mouth. First and foremost is just the word “gamer”. In a world where more and more people play video games, I find it hard to believe that we need a specialized term for that. Of course, “hardcore” gamers are a thing, but so are “casual” and “mid level” ones. Moreover, I feel like its just overused by media and especially marketing establishments. This leads me into today's topic: Console Wars.

Console Wars is another term I'm pretty sure was conceived in a board room with a long table surrounded by soulless marketing experts. Creating rivalry is a great way to promote a product, and cultivate followers so fanatically loyal that there would be cults telling them to tone it down. However, I don't think the term is that legitimate. After all people are probably going to systems not based on the specs or features, but on the games that will be available.

That said, I do have a preference for consoles and games. Starting with the worst of the bunch (in my opinion) we have the X-Box One. Yes, yes, insert your “beating a dead horse” joke here.

We all know the stellar reception that the console got on the day its features were announced, so I won't go into too much detail on what they were. If you don't already know, lets just say “ridiculous amounts of DRM BS” and leave it at that. I'm told that a lot of “really cool features” could have been introduced through this, and that X-Box just did a terrible job of marketing the plus sides, but here's the thing:
I neither want nor need to make video games and the playing thereof more complicated than it already is.
I know that change is inevitable, and evolution will always take hold sooner or later, but what X-Box seemed to have forgotten is that not all (in fact I'd go as far as to say “most”) people who play games aren't looking for the “definitive gaming experience” or an “all in one entertainment system”. Let me explain this in the simplest terms that I can:

We want to play games.

That's it. That is literally the starting and ending goal for most people who turn on a console. People got so offended by the concepts the X-Box One originally introduced because it seemed to further follow the path started by things like extreme DLC. The game itself seems to become secondary to the “gaming experience” and more importantly the revenue creative from it. 

So at this point it should come as a surprise to few when I say that if I bought a next-gen console it would almost certainly be the Wii-U. I used to sign up for the Nintendo hate in favor of the better graphics and more realistic, grittier games, but in recent years I've realized what's been keeping Nintendo afloat long after all its original competitors bit the dust: it understands why it exists.

Nintendo understands that games need to be fun. They seem to understand more than any of their competitors that the highest resolution graphics and most detail oriented sub-machines are meaningless if the player isn't enjoying what they're doing. They don't innovate new ways of keeping their consumers on a leash, or letting developers come out with half-finished products to be completed for an additional fee with DLC, they innovate new ways of having fun. That's what the Wii-mote was all about, and that's what the new touch-pad interface is for, unlike the Sony or X-Box motion sensing clones.

Now, Nintendo's weakness is that few developers seem to share this notion, and that for the most part just want to make the same kind of “successful” games that Sony and Microsoft produce. But its always worth it you find those few games that weren't about making a surefire investment, and make you lose track of time because you're enjoying yourself. So rock on Nintendo, and may I not doubt you again.

Oh, and PS4 will probably be okay. I guess.


Awesome Comic Tuesday

People like to make fun of Cyclops, and truth be told he can be a bit of a douche-weasel. That said, I always liked him as a kid, and there are times that I like him now. This is definitely included in that category.


Awful comic Thursday

Liefeld and Cap have a..strained relationship, but apparently not so strained as some poor soul's relationship with their hand and face.



As you really ought to know by this point if you read my articles regularly, I have an unashamed love for a very special kind of movie: the kind that doesn't try to be “good” in an academic sense, but knows just what it wants to be, and goes all out to achieve it. Machete, Shoot 'Em Up, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, all of them would make the head of a pretentious film buff explode like the guy from Scanners, but I always find my enjoyment of just how ridiculous they can get outmatches any sense of snobbish dislike.

The shark did WHAT to that airplane?

So you can imagine that I was pumped for the premiere of “Sharknado”. How could I not be? It was a tornado made of sharks rampaging across the west coast. Its the kind of idea that I wish Michael Bay had done Transformers to secretly fund. The day that the movie came out, twitter exploded. Everyone, including big names in Hollywood, were going on about the horrible wonders of “Sharknado.” I was doing other things at the time of the premiere, so I recorded it, and sat to to watch it the next day.

Now, there are some good things and bad things about this movie. Here's the good things in one picture:

Yes, this a man diving at a shark with a chainsaw. All your arguments are invalid.

That is one of the most glorious images that any movie has produced. There are a couple of things like that in Sharknado, things that make you just stare blankly at your screen and say “...what?”. Those are the good parts.

Sadly, there aren't that many of them.

Frankly, you needed to watch this movie during the twitter storm, not just because the tweets themselves were entertaining, but because it would give you something to do during the incredibly slow parts of the film. That's right: a film called “Sharknado” dragged like crazy at times.
Science still has no answers as to how this can be.

Asylum Pictures also tends to fall flat when it comes to immersion and world building. By “fall flat” of course, I mean something more like face planting into jagged spikes after a failed attempt at jumping a ramp on a barely working motorcycle that they “fixed up” in their garage because they “totally knew what they were doing.”

In movies like “Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus” it wasn't that bad. In Sherlock Holmes it was absolutely film-breaking. Here, its even worse. Supposedly flooded streets are seen perfectly dry (with cars still driving along them) in the background, and the idea that there is a hurricane going on is diminished slightly by the fact that it is clearly bright and sunny out. Come on guys, you couldn't even take the time to lower the brightness on your footage a little?

I know that being cheesy is supposed to be part of the fun, but to laugh at the ridiculousness of a situation, you have to be able to have the slightest belief that the situation is happening. Here, I never got that. It was a bunch of people panicking at a hurricane that was so clearly not present that it took you out of it.

Worst of all, there was a grave lack of both sharks and tornadoes in this film. Shame on you.


Awesome Comic Tuesday

What else can you say but one of the most iconic and historic moments in comic books?


X-Men: Evolution

Mike may not remember the X-Men most people seem to gush over, but he does remember one series...


Awesome Comic Thursday

I know many people don't like Superman, largely due to how unrelatable he is. I for one like him. He isn't supposed to be relatable, he's supposed to be the pinnacle of we COULD be if we really tried. No, none of us can have the kind of power he does, but time and time again there have been comics that tell us that what makes him Superman isn't his powers, its his character.


Jolly Cooperation: Catwoman

Mike wants to tackle the "Catwoman" game for the Game Boy Advance, but can't do it alone. Fortunately, he is able to call on his own Sunbro to make it happen.


Aweful Comic Tuesday

This is, of course, another picture from everyone's favorite 13-year-old in a grown man's body: Rob Leifeld. Now to be fair, this isn't one of his "worst" pictures, but there are a few things to consider here.
1: Cable's perfect 90 degree elbow.
2. Cable's many useless belts and pouches.
3. Is the Human Torch really tiny or far away? At first I thought it was a torch or something being held by the thing. Maybe that's the point. I don't know.