I have always loved Super Smash Bros. From the first time my babysitter brought the game over to keep us quiet, I dreamed of the day that I myself would own this glorious tribute to mascots pummeling each other.
That day has long since passed, from buying my own Gamecube with Melee to this very day picking up the new game for the 3DS. Though I have not gotten a chance to really delve into each individual character, I think I've played it enough at this point to give you all a general feel for the game's functionality.
First off, there are a TON of characters and settings unlocked right of the bat. Worried that you'll have to spend hours of play time to unlock Little Mac or Mega Man? Worry no more, because they're all there right from the start. Final Destination is also an option right from the get-go, and I can see a lot of people feeling that this removes the incentive to play the single-player game.
Darn.
Super Smash Bros is not meant to be single player. Half the reason I got this version was because of the online capacity to play friends. Let's be honest, making the most desirable characters and maps in this instance, that is to say for a party game, is actively detrimental to the cause. Nintendo, as one of the few game companies that remembers video games are about FUN, realized this and gave the people the capacity to enjoy the game how they choose right from the get-go.
That's not to say there aren't unlockables, because boy are there. Challenges, Mii accessories, trophies, a few special characters, but nothing that would feel like you have an incomplete game without.
The single player functions that do exist are mainly series of challenge modes. The classic single-player campaign from the N64 days is there, though it's updated, as well as multi-enemy challenge modes. They're all decent and pretty standard fun-wise for what we've come to expect from the series.
As far as the feel of the controls go, I'm certainly impressed. While this is a game that would be easier to player with a 3DS XL, it's certainly approachable. It's clear that they went for emulating the console controls as closely as possible, but there is the option to switch the buttons around. This is good, because, at least in my experience, there are more comfortable configurations than the default. That said, however, the controls are responsive, and it really does feel as though you're playing a Smash Bros. game.
As far as downsides go, the biggest complaint I have are some of the larger maps. The limited size of a 3DS screen means that when the camera zooms out too much, it becomes hard to follow where you are. Second, while it does feel like a Smash Bros. game, so far in my experience it's not quite different enough from Brawl to feel like a new version, new characters aside.
But, this is just a very first impression. I'm sure there will be plenty more ups and downs to figure out as I keep trying out new characters and getting more unlockables.
For now though, good job on Little Mac, guys. You did not disappoint there.
Comics, Video Games, Movies and More
10/3/14
8/24/14
The Fat Kid Road Trip part 4: The Search for Spock
Call me Ishmael.
Okay, don't actually do that, but finding the Moonshine Store was
like our white whale. We crossed what felt like an endless sea of
green fields, spying the waves of corn and hearing only our stomachs
rumble in anticipation for something we were only mostly sure
existed. Joey's epic road trip play list (which consisted of two
techno remixes and the entire Ronnie James Dio cover album) did
little to cure our impatience as the GPS led us deeper and deeper
into the exact middle of nowhere.
My point is, if you ever feel like going to the Moonshine Store
yourself, don't be discouraged by the absolute lack of anything
anywhere. Likewise, don't be daunted by what looks like an old
farmhouse, because that's exactly what this place is.
STOP FOUR
Name: Moonshine Store
Locations: Martinsville, IL
Suggested by: Joel
 |
| Some say he's written works that would put Chaucer to shame. All we know is, he's Joel. |
Despite
the extremely remote location the Moonshine Store is a crowded place.
Located at 6017 E. 300th
Rd in Martinsville, the store is open from 6 a.m. to 1 p.m., and
you'd best not wait until the last minute to get there, because once
they run out of beef, they close up shop for the day on the spot.
The inside of the facility is like if all the nick-knacks of a
hundred Cracker Barrels were swept in by a tornado of charmingly
quaint antiquities. There are no tables, no chairs, just a counter to
order, a table of condiments a rack of chips and some coolers of
drinks. Memorabilia aside, it's probably the most straightforward and
least gimmicky establishment I've ever experienced. When you sit down
at the picnic tables outside the building though, you aren't worried
about that. No, you've trekked through some of the most barren
stretches of Illinois to get here, and you're only worry is whether
the food in front of you is up to par.
Did it ever exceed my expectations. To have a place this far from any
town, this far from what could reasonably be called your target
buyers, and to have it be so crowded, you have to be doing something
right, and what the Moonshine Store does right are the burgers. I
have no idea what they do, I don't know what kind of beef they use,
but something about the way these things are cooked makes for a
wonderful slab of meat on a bun.
Whether or not the food is worth the trip probably depends entirely on how much you like hamburger, or beef in general. If you like it as much as I do, then this one is a no-brainer.
7/18/14
7/15/14
The Fat Kid Road Trip part 3: The Revenge
After our stop at Chicago's most
unusual hot dog venue, we departed to the magical land of Portland,
Wisconsin...I mean Milwaukee, Oregon...I mean...
Maybe it was just the district we were
in. Maybe it was because Summerfest was happening in roughly the same
area. Maybe we were just being judgmental. There was no denying,
however, that there were a lot of people who's legs were apparently
uncomfortably hot while their heads were apparently uncomfortably
cold.
 |
| If you or someone you know is afflicted with being a hipster, seek professional help |
Hipster's aside, Milwaukee is a
pleasant place during the summer (which I understand lasts roughly
two days). It has more of a small-town vibe than a big city feel, and
getting around is nowhere near as harrowing an experience as
somewhere like Chicago.
We hadn't come to wonder at the
population of hipsters or the scenery, however. We came for the Comet
Cafe.
STOP THREE
Name: Comet Cafe
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Suggested by: Joemiroquoi
Despite the extensive vegan menu and soda menu consisting of things
“you've probably never heard of”, Comet Cafe and I can find
common ground in one way: we love bacon. Few non-vegan dishes on the
menu are without this champion of meat, and that alone is something I
can appreciate. With that in mind, Joel and I ordered different
variations of the bacon-wrapped meatloaf.
 |
| More like the MEAT TOWER |
Before a meatloaf at Comet Cafe is cooked, the entire pan is covered
with bacon. Once the beef is prepared and added, the bacon is wrapped
around the entire block, giving every slice an outer shell of pure
goodness.
Joey had come for one thing though, and strangely enough it was one
of the few non-bacon dishes. He had come for the “Thanksgiving in a
Ball”.
 |
| A dish so American I just saluted thinking about it |
Turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes all rolled up into balls larger
than baseballs and deep fried to perfection. The picture does not do
justice to the magnitude of this dish. Joey looked as one who had
achieved Nirvana, but there was a problem: there was too much food.
He plowed through a ball and a half out of three, and although he
said the food was just as good as the first bite, there was only so
much his system could take. There was no way, however, that we were
going to have driven that far just for him to give up halfway
through. Joey needed inspiration, and we had just the thing.
The previous night we had been playing the fighting game Dead or
Alive 4. There were four catagories of characters in that game for
Joey: Ones he likes, ones that were okay, ones that were bad, and
Akira.
 |
| Try not to get my gi dirty...my mom just bleached it |
For those who haven't played the game, Dead or Alive relies heavily
on a counter system, meaning you have to be good at predicting the
kind of move your opponent is attempting. Akira's off-tempo style
makes this very, very difficult. Oh the rage, oh the ranting, oh the
insults towards to a set of animations. Joey's loathing of Akira and
everything he does in that game was as passionate as it was
hilarious, and it just might have saved the day. Turning to Joel, I
said the magic words.
“You know, I bet Akira could finish that.”
 |
| (artist's rendition of the reaction) |
That lit a fire in Joey's eyes. It wasn't pretty, he wasn't in good
shape after, but he conquered the Thanksgiving in a Balls. I'm not
saying we had to get a wheelbarrow to get him out of the
establishment, but I'm not going to formally go on record to say we
didn't.
It was early in the trip for a meal to be so difficult to put down,
and it would only get harder from there. Would the trip south bring
greater challengers? Would we be able to finish everything on our
plates? The quest continues in Martinsville.
7/12/14
7/11/14
7/10/14
7/8/14
7/6/14
The Fat Kid Road Trip part 2: Electric Boogaloo
The first full day of our journey for a
larger waistline took us northwards, and as the northernmost resident
of Illinois, I got to be behind the wheel. I can't speak for how many
readers regularly travel the city of Chicago, but for those who
haven't gotten the chance, let me be the first to congratulate you.
It's not fun.
If you adhere to the tenants of
defensive driving and general
“not-feeling-like-you're-an-inch-from-death” then the Windy City
is not the place for you to commute. Want to change lanes? Well,
you're more or less forced to cut someone off to do so. Don't worry
though, because odds are you'd have been cut off with
brake-slammingly little warning about three times by that point. And
make no mistake, you will certainly have to contend with this. Unless
you've memorized the highway layout, figuring out what lane to be in
at what time is going to be like a sodoku puzzle locked in a Rubik’s
Cube given to a color-blind man.
But I digress. We made it to our
destination with surprisingly little hassle and surprisingly large
chunks of our car intact, just in time to enjoy some Hot Doug's.
STOP TWO
Name: Hot Doug's Meat Emporium
Location: Chicago, IL
Suggested by: Geekasaurus Mike
I like hot dogs, and I'm sure as a red-blooded American, so do you
(all of what google tells me is a surprisingly large Russian audience
can ignore that statement). In my humble opinion, there are few
better places to enjoy encased meats than Hot Doug's.
Located at 3324 N. California Ave in Chicago, the establishment is
well known for its high-quality product, it's unique atmosphere and
staff (more on that in a moment) and it's creative dish naming. Every
one of the regular menu items is named after a celebrity, and those
names change on a regular basis. The Bo Derek, an Andouille Sausage,
for example, has been formerly called the Brigette Bardot, the Salma
Hayek, the Madonna, the Raquel Welch and the Ann-Margret.
 |
| None of which are pictured here |
Hot Doug's major claim to fame, however, is the Game of the Week, or
a hot dog made with a different unusual animal meat every week. These
have included yak, rattlesnake, wild boar and kangaroo in the past.
Every Friday and Saturday, the restaurant also offers “duck fat”
cooked fries.
If you're looking to eat at a decent hour, you'd better get there
early. We had a half-hour wait outside just to get inside the
building, let alone to the cash register. Doug himself was working
the till when we arrived, and that's when their unusual take on
customer service began. Upon learning that we were eating in, Joey
was implicitly told to order a small drink, but just take a large cup
so he didn't have to keep refilling it. I can't name many places that
would argue with someone trying to pay more, but there you are.
The second unusual thing was, as we were sitting outside due to
space, a voice rang out from behind me.
“Hey! Joey!”
From the tone, I expected a miracle coincidence had occurred where
someone Joey knew had run into us. I was wrong. The voice belonged to
our server. The third unusual thing was that it was a Chicago hot dog
store that had ketchup bottles.
What we hadn't realized upon leaving, sadly, was that the
establishment was cash-only. We were somewhat limited in our choices
therefore, but although we had simple Chicago-dogs, corndogs (the
Shirley Hardman) and a Bo Derek between us, Hot Doug's certainly
managed to live up to its reputation.
If you want to eat at Hot Doug's, you'd best hurry. Sadly, Doug will
be retiring, and closing his shop on October fourth. Until then, I
highly recommend giving it at least one shot before it's gone
forever.
6/30/14
The Fat Kid Road Trip Part 1: The Beginning
Between start of the World Cup, and the
coming of Independence day, there was an age undreamed of. Hither
came three men, destined to consume the greatest dishes in all of
Illinois (and some in other states). It is I alone who can tell you
of our story.
Let me tell you of the days of the Fat
Kid Road Trip.
 |
| Hey, it's still better than this one. |
We mapped out our course, and invited
our third friend, Joel “The unGoogleable Man” to aid us in this
mighty deed.
 |
| Some say he hasn't eaten anything he didn't kill with his bare hands. All we know is, he's Joel. |
STOP ONE
Name:
Alehouse Pub
Location:
Kankakee, IL
Suggested
by: Geekasaurus Mike
They say that the journey of 10,000
miles begins with a single step. In our case, the journey of
significantly fewer miles began with a trip down the street, to the
Alehouse Pub. I had been there once before, and the moment my food
was brought out I knew it had to be a stop on the Fat Kid Road Trip.
Though from the outside it may advertise itself as a bar for craft
beers, the burgers are some of the best you're likely to find.
Take for example, the Tennessean (show
picture) ordered by Joey. That's a kobe beef patty topped with pulled
pork and deep-fried Mac N' Cheese.
 |
| BEHOLD |
I will take a moment to allow your
heart to stop freaking out at the idea.
I myself got a burger called
“The Cheesehead”, a Bison beef burger smothered in cheese with
cheese curds on the top.
 |
| Dangerously cheesy |
When you order a burger at the Alehouse, you select your type of burger, your meat (angus, kobe, bison or veggie) the type of bun (regular or pretzel) and toppings. There is no way I know of to go wrong with any combination, but I'd be more than willing to do some experimenting to find out.
The pub also boasts an extensive beer
menu, one that changes all the time to fit the season. If you're like
me and love your beer as black as the night, or if you walk on the
lighter side, Alehouse Pub in Kankakee has you covered.
Unfortunately, we had just missed the
bluegrass band that had been performing, but local musicians are a
regular commodity at the Alehouse, and it's free admission to all of
them.
The Alehouse Pub provided some of the
best burgers, fries and beer that any of us had experienced, but it was not being compared
to McDonald's and Burger King. To hold it's place, it would have to
contend with some of the best beef in the State. Would it hold that
title? Find out next time.
3/27/14
3/25/14
Awesome Comic Tuesday: D-D-D-DEADPOOL
I had a similar, though largely downgrade, reaction to The Last Airbender.
3/20/14
3/18/14
Awesome Comic Tuesday
3/11/14
Awesome Comic Tuesday: The Hectic Life of Batman
Fun Fact: "What's Opera Doc" is one of the two Loony Toons shorts currently preserved by the Smithsonian.
3/6/14
Awful Comic Thursday: Laundry Day
Fortunately, the antics of a third grader pretending to be Batman will keep my identity safe.
3/4/14
Awesome Comic Tuesday: Superman and Super-Science
3/2/14
2/26/14
Web Comic Wednesday: The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
Do you need to see anything else to
understand why you should see this web comic in all its glory? There
is a GIANT LUMBERJACK fighting a T-REX. Anything else I can say here
is moot. But fine, I'll say things anyway, its probably what you came
here for.
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja is a
comic about a ninja who is also a doctor. Does that sound absurdly
silly? Well, what if I told you his receptionist was a gorilla, and
his sidekick was a raptor-riding child bearing the most magnificent
mustache this side of Burt Reynolds? Then it might be starting to
sound crazy-awesome.
Dr. McNinja and his associates protect
the city of Cumberland, Maryland from a variety of threats, including
but not limited to Dracula, zombie ninjas, 80's action stars turned
super villains and “the most radical man in the radical lands”,
known only as King Radical.
The Doctor himself comes from a family
of Irish ninjas, and his main interest in superhero and ninja skills
in general come from an obsession with wanting to be Batman. Despite
his best attempts as always being the hero, his ax-crazy nature as a
ninja often comes out, especially in the beginning. He has issues
with obsession in general, as seen when he tries to thwart King
Radical, but is still highly skilled in both doctoring and
ninja...ing.
I can't even begin to list all of the
side characters here and do them any justice. There the
time-traveling mayor, the rest of the McNinja family, who are
disappointed in their son's choice of career, the citizens of the
Radical Lands, the Doctor's mentor Ben Franklin (a clone of the
original) and the list just goes on.
The Good
If you enjoy crazy-awesome, then this one of the best things out
there for you. Nearly everything runs on a mixture of rule of cool
(you kind of have to be familiar with tvtropes to understand me,
huh?) and the best cliches of 80's action movies.
 |
| Well, the ones not in here. |
But you know what? They're still good stories in the conventional
sense. There's still an arc, still character development in which
they find out things about each other and themselves, and the twists
and climaxes are still clever and exciting. Creator Chris Hastings
has worked on Deadpool since the this comic has come out, and reading
it you can certainly see why.
There is a fine line being being awesome and being off-putting and
confusing, and this comic has a fantastic grasp of where that line
is. There is a point where Dr. McNinja has to surf a rocket-powered
robot from Dracula's moon-base back to Earth, and in context every
single one of those words makes sense.
The Bad
I can't think of much to put in here. If you're looking for something
artsy or dramatic, this isn't your comic. If you like Tarantino's
movies, or just want to read something that's off-the-wall fun with
little to no limits, then this is definitely up your ally.
The Verdict
LUMBERJACK. FIGHTING. T-REX.
 |
| In case you'd forgotten. |
2/25/14
Holy crap fan art!
JustPlainJim at deviantart brought the characters of Eclipse Nightfire and Gammie to life!
2/23/14
2/19/14
Web Comic Wednesday: XKCD
As a student, I always hated math. It's
not that I was terrible at it, I could just never shake the question
of when in my life I was going to need to use cosine, or calculate
the surface area of a pyramid. SO when I heard about XKCD, a comic
entirely based on science and math, I was skeptical of my capacity to
enjoy it.
Fortunately, my skepticism was soon
quashed. Understanding of math and science isn't usually a
requirement for understanding the jokes here, though it just might
make the better. I wouldn't know. I don't understand math. Instead,
the humor comes from, frankly, incredibly clever writing. Sometimes
there isn't really any humor, but the writing and ideas are still
interesting enough to keep you fascinated.
I realize that I'm not doing a great
job of telling you what this comic is about, and that's because it's
a very difficult thing to define. There are no main characters, no
overarching plots, just whatever Randall Munroe thinks is funny or
insightful at the time.
The Good
As I've said, the
writing and ideas are top-notch, and will almost certainly keep your
interest. Several times a comic will get incredibly deep or
existentialist, then be brought back to humorous through the sudden
use of water guns or carnivorous dinosaurs.
Others that don't
have humor at all are more of experiments with the art form of online
sequential art. Notably, one comic titled “umwelt” displayed a
completely different comic depending on your browser, location and IP
address range. Others will take advantage of zoom, panoramic view or
gifs to make their joke.
If it seems like
this “the good” segment is relatively short, its because its hard
to put into words what makes this comic good. Do not misunderstand
me, this comic is better than good, this comic is great. But the
existential nature of a lot of them, combined with the lack of
overarching structure makes reasons and themes somewhat difficult to
pin down. At the end of the day, all I can really say is that each
comic will leave you feeling...something. Even if you aren't sure
what that something is.
 |
| I THINK I was amused... |
The Bad
If you're looking for a comic with a load of deep characters or a
complex plot line, look elsewhere. Likewise, many may be turned off
by the stick-figure art style, or the comics that are all text. If
visual art is what appeals to you, well, maybe this isn't for you
either.
There are also a number of comics that remind me of those
“inspirational” posters you would see behind a manager's desk.
They're more heartwarming and tell the message better, but you can't
shake the feeling that they're telling you “what life is all
about”. Some people really get into that kind of things, I'm just
not one of them, I suppose.
Lastly, for the sake of fair warning, the first comics on the site
are not indicative of the entire thing. They're doodles from Munroe's
school notebooks, and if you skip until you start seeing stick
figures, you'll be at the actual comic.
The Verdict
Read this comic. Seriously, at least give it a good chance. It makes
you think, makes you chuckle, and makes you...well, we'll just say
“other”. There are reasons you may not get into it, but from what
I can tell they're few and far between.
2/16/14
2/14/14
2/13/14
Aweful Comic Thursday: Supermand and the...device
Lex Luthor had some...interesting inventions in his earlier years of super-villainy.
2/12/14
Web Comic Wednesday: Least I Could Do
Ryan Sohmer is a comic creator that I
can't quite decide if I like or not. On the one hand, there is a
strong argument for his comic “Least I could Do”'s central
character Rayne Summers being a self-insert Mary Sue (a character too
perfect to be interesting), and he can come off as a bit cocky
through his comic, such as his current storyline where he-I mean
Rayne, has an idea that everyone's sure will revolutionize the news
industry, or when he implies that he's the only hard working guy in
the entire web-comic industry.
But here's the thing, unlike characters
like Ethan from Ctrl+Alt+Del, both Ryan and Rayne having redeeming
qualities that make them bearable, and even enjoyable. Sohmer may
come off as cocky, but in fairness he really is one of the busiest
people in web-comics, currently running three of them at once.
LICD mainly focuses on the antics of
Rayne Summers, a guy in his late-twenties going through a variety of
real-life and exaggerated-real-life events with his friends. There is
no real overarching plot here, just a series of mini-arcs.
The Good
Rayne himself is, as stated, a more
likable version of Ethan. His antics, while wild and absurd, usually
don't go too deeply into the realm of illegal or mean-spirited. More
often than not, at least in recent years, we find out those antics
have a greater purpose in trying to help his friends and their
families. That's probably what actually makes him tolerable: his
loyalty. Sure, Ethan may help his friends out if he gains by it...or
he isn't distracted...or he isn't the one harming them in the first
place...but Rayne's help seems to genuinely come from a place of
love. He also developes as a character, starting as a one-note sex
fiend and slowly figuring out the worth of his other relationships,
especially with his young niece.
The other characters, while still
usually foils to Rayne, actually have their own characteristics.
Noel, Raynes best friend, is often the straight man, but has his own
life with a marriage and children, as well as limits to his patience
with Rayne. Mickey has to deal with being overweight, low-self
confidence in the beginning, but he too goes through character
development. Rayne's roommate Mike is depressed, lonely, but tries to
keep a brave face and can still be funny when he needs to be.
There is some drama in the series, but
its never as sudden or as jarring as in Ctrl+Alt+Del. When we find
out (spoilers) Rayne has struggled with depression, the explanation
makes sense with everything we've learned about him before. When we
find out (again, spoilers) that Mickey's father was murdered when he
was a child, its jarring, but there's less of a tone in the mood of
the comic than you would think.
Finally, the scenarios seem more real
(usually). Unlike Ctrl+Alt+Del where the problems and settings are
fantastical, the problems closer to real-life are easier to connect
with and actually care about. That has a lot to do with worlds more
clever writing and infinitely more likable characters.
The Bad
The comic can be a
bit preachy at times, especially on the occasions where Sohmer
decides to write about world issues.
As stated above
though, the biggest complaint made is usually about Sohmer's
perceived arrogance and how it transfers into Rayne. I suppose once
it was pointed out to me I started to see it, but to be honest its
never anything too jarring for me. If you're really put off by things
like that, I could see how you would not like this comic.
Likewise,
if you're put off by constant sexual humor, start about halfway
through the comic's run. At the start, that is literally the entire
joke of the comic. Rayne likes sex. A lot. Again though, it gets
better.
The Verdict
I'd suggest at least giving this comic a chance. If you're put off at
the first few comics, hop into the archive and start from the middle,
or latter third. If you still don't like it, well, I won't blame you,
but I think most of you will find something to like here.
2/11/14
Awesome Comic Tuesday: Spiderman: Master of Distractions
To be totally fair, I would probably look too.
2/6/14
Awful Comic Thursday: The Bat-Ape
2/5/14
Web Comic Wednesday: Crtl+Alt+Del
Oh Ctrl+Alt+Del comics, what a rocky
relationship we've had. When I started reading you, I thought you
were great. Your characters were funny, your jokes were funny, Chef
Brian was funny, it was just an all around funny thing.
Then something happened. I don't know
what it was. Maybe I grew up a bit, maybe my tastes changed. More
than likely, however, you stopped making jokes and started your
string of “serious” plots right out of a junior high notebook.
But you know what, Ctrl+Alt+Del? You've
gotten better. No, I still don't like you as much as I did when I was
15, and I doubt I ever will, but you've ditched your overcomplicated
cast of characters and your only semi-competent grasp of creative
drama, and gone back to making jokes.
Is it only a matter of time before you decided to “expand” the
characteristics of players 1-4? Probably. But for now, you've reached
the lofty goal of “there are worse time wasters you could do.”
Okay, I've
rambled on about this enough. Ctrl+Alt+Del is a webcomic by Tim
Buckly, and at its start was about a pair of gaming roommates (lamp
shading their own “originality” from time to time) as they talk
about video games and the turns the industry is taking. Okay, so this
sounds like dollar-store Penny Arcade...and it was...but then things
get a little hairy.
Ethan, the
standard “crazy but apparently considered “lovable” in
universe” character becomes smitten with a girl named Lilah, who
is, for reasons utterly beyond me, smitten in return. This is where
the drama switch gets pulled. If you follow the web comic world in
the slightest, you know what happens. They get married, Lilah gets
pregnant, and completely out of nowhere a miscarriage ensues. Because
drama.
There are other
characters, such as the relatively straight-man archetype Lucas, the
sentient and sapient x-box he created named Zeke and their mysterious
and rarely-seen third roommate Scott, but at the end of the day, the
story mainly falls down to Ethan who, to be honest, isn't terribly
interesting. He's random, kookie and operates under what can only be
defined as 'insane troll logic', and while that amused me to no end
at 15, I just find him annoying now. Lilah and Ethan don't have
terribly much personality either, they're mostly just foils to Ethan.
The Good
When the comic decides to make jokes, it can be at least passable.
Your time is still better spent reading Penny Arcade, but they're not
all that bad.
The best thing to ever happen to this comic was the decision to
completely lose its “main cast”, and just goes to using the
Players (a group of characters named Player 1, 2, 3 and 4) for
commentary, or using actual game characters to lampoon the flaws in
the work itself. Again, they're decent.
The Bad
I've heard a lot of rumors about Tim Buckly, but until I get
verifiable reports telling me they're true, I'm not spreading them
here. Besides, we're here to talk about the comic itself.
First off, the lack of effort. Buckly has made videos showing how he
makes Ctrt+Alt+Del, and they are maddening. He as a set of angry
eyes, a set of lazy eyes, a set of hopeful eyes, and he just clicks
and drags them over to the blank face for that scene. Wow. Just wow.
The same goes for every facial feature and plenty of the background.
Second, as I none-too-subtly stated above, the drama isn't really
well integrated into the story, or all that well thought out. It
seems that Buckly will just decide that there's been too much fun for
too long and pull the drama lever, throwing in the most horrible
thing he can think of completely out of left field.
The Verdict
I've said it already. The recent ones are okay, but seriously, just
go read Penny Arcade. It's a better use of your time.
2/4/14
Awesome Comic Tuesday: Badass(er) Batman
Batman has a crossbow and a motorcycle. All your arguments are invalid forever because Batman.
2/3/14
Jolly Cooperation: A Link to the Past, Part 4 (or 5...depending)
After the real part four's video footage suffered catastrophic failure, this was deemed the new part 4! Turk and Mike's magical adventure through A Link to the Past continues!
1/30/14
1/29/14
Web Comic Wednesday: 8 Bit Theater
In this inaugural outing of Web Comic
Wednesdays, I find it only fitting that we talk about the first web
comic that I ever read: 8-Bit Theater on www.nuklearpower.com.
A parody of early Final Fantasy games,
8-Bit Theater follows the adventures of Fighter, a delightfully naïve
buffoon that also happens to be an amazing swordsman, as well as his
only semi-willing traveling companion: Black Mage. Probably the most
famous character of the comic, Black Mage is a proudly evil sociopath
with not at all hidden aspirations of conquering the world.
The two (mainly Fighter) decide to form
a heroic questing party to become the Warriors of Light, and end up
recruiting an elfish thief named Thief (sensing a pattern yet?) who
is every con-artist rolled into one, and a red mage named...you know,
I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count. Red Mage
is modeled after a hardcord D&D player, complete with his own
character sheet, which somehow actually effects his real-life skills.
Along their quest, they meet several
other characters, such as the straight-man (or woman) character White
Mage, her bodyguard Black Belt, who is basically like Fighter but
with martial arts, and a wide variety of villains and NPCs, all on
their quest to obtain the four elemental stones and save the world.
At least, that's what the rest of the world thinks.
The Good
As the first web comic I read, and the number of years ago I read it,
it's very possible that I just have nostalgia blindness here, but at
least the first half of the comic's story and the characters are the
best parts of this. Fighter is the buffoon, but he can range from
being strangely insightful to the “achievements in ignorance”
trope, such as when he invented and implemented “sword-chucks.”
That trope also applies to Red Mage in spades. In this universe, the
Red Mages dedicated their whole order to understanding the mechanics
of the world, so somehow, against all odds, through his stat sheet,
Red Mage achieves the absurd. This includes surviving having his
skeleton forced out his mouth, because he lost his pencil and
couldn't mark his damage taken.
Black Mage is delightful in his cynicism and just all-around pathetic
nature. He's an extremely powerful wizard in his own right, but the
world just won't give him a single break. Black Mage is the first
character to chastise anyone else's shortcomings, which is made
better by the fact that we all know one of his own is about to become
glaringly obvious.
If there's one main character I'm “meh” about, it's thief. I've
played in games were one person grinds the story to a halt to try and
steal everything, and it was as boring then as it is now. I enjoy
that he can steal anything that isn't “nailed down or on fire”,
to a point that he steals the soul of a Lich, but I'm still lukewarm.
The Bad
The comic takes a long while at the beginning to find its comedic
voice and its identity, but that's to be expected. The story drags
around a fair bit, and just sort of peters out near the end. The
jokes get less frequent and frankly less funny, and the bits I just
stop caring about become more and more often. Happily, this is
probably due to the creator, Brian Clevenger, becoming more of a real
world cartoonist and not having as much time on his hands. In terms
of the comic alone, however, the second third to half is frankly
mediocre and uninspiring.
However,
there's still nothing exceptionally “bad” that I can think of
about it, it's just not as good. If you have a free day or two, I
still recommend checking out 8-Bit Theater, once again on
www.nuklearpower.com.
1/28/14
Awesome Comic Tuesday: Thor goes on a culinary adventure
1/25/14
Pokemon Red Part 1 - The Name Game
Tim, Mike, and the invisible and inaudible Andy sit down to play Pokemon Red in this first episode of the adventures of No Homo, and his trusty squirtle: uh...you. Can they climb the ranks of the pokemon league and one day become the very best, like no one ever was? Or will they be drowned out in a slew of dick jokes? Either one is equally possible! They'll probably just get stuck on a naming screen though.
Let's play channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/nnyix
Not Another Reviewer - http://www.youtube.com/user/narreview
1/23/14
Awful Comic Thursday: Superman can be a Jerk
1/20/14
Awesome Comic Tuesday: Oh that Joker
1/16/14
Awful Comic Thursday: Superman-o?
1/15/14
Superhero movies: Effects vs. Story
I won't say there's no end in sight for
the superhero movie trend. Now that the Batman trilogy is over and
done with, DC has got to be banking on the success of Batman vs.
Superman to even stay in the game. Marvel is still going strong, with
Thor: The Dark World receiving decent praise at the box office, as
well as by critics, but the somewhat lackluster third installment of
the Iron Man trilogy made me wonder if they may finally be running
out of steam.
That all said, however, we can still
look back at the early 2000's and marvel at just how far the
superhero movie has come since the days of the first X-Men movie.
Sure, technology has improved, and film rights to certain characters
have been hashed out, but I think there is an additional factor we
can consider: finding the balance between special effects and a good
story. The first X-Men movie, for example, seemed to be more of an
exercise in seeing what cool powers could be brought to life, with
considerably less emphasis on having a story, or character
development, or avoiding terrible dialogue.
 |
| What happens when a toad gets hit by lightning? Terrible writing, that's what. |
As a kid, I was super (haha, puns)
impressed by the special effects. As I got older, however, I came to
realize that they did not make a movie good, just sparkly, like an
arts and crafts project made of a cloud of glitter with no paper to
be glued down to. X-Men 2 and 3 were, admittedly, better about it,
exploring the homophobia allegory that's always been a staple of the
comic, but they never really “wowed” me.
Then came “X-Men: First Class”.
Unlike its bad to just unimpressive predecessors, I think First Class
is a great movie, easily one of the best in its genre. The characters
are no longer just walking special effects, they're people. Mystique
is interesting, Beast is interesting, Magneto is incredibly deep for
a comic book character, and although you know he's technically the
“villain”, you can see that he as a very valid point. Sure,
ultimately they're foiling the plan of a super villain, and Emma
Frost reaches Kristen Stewart levels of bland, but there are other
stories and character developments happening at the same time. The
powers are what they should be: elements of the story, rather than
the primary focus.
“But Mike,” some of you are saying,
“aren't the superpowers the reason we come to superhero movies in
the first place?” That's a valid point. After all, you didn't pay
$10 to see “Captain Explosion 2: Return of the Mega-Pecs” to see
all quiet, talky scenes with a lot of character development.
For a moment though, let's consider
“That 70's Show”.
 |
| ...explain? |
Bear with me. What did people like
about “That 70's Show”? Easy, Kelso was the loveable idiot, Fez
was awkward an naïve, Jackie and Red were hilarious (though vastly
different) jerks, and Eric and Donna were, more often than not, the
straight foils to the antics of the others. Know what's missing from
that list, though? The fact that the show was in the 70's. At the end
of the day, the premise and even title of the show had nothing to do
with why we liked the final product. We usually like stories because
we like the characters. They're the ones we're supposed to want to
see win, who we feel bad to see fail. When a character is just
walking laser vision, like Cyclops in the first two X-Men movies,
then we really can't care about what happens to him.
However, I wouldn't go so far as to say
remove the powers entirely. After all, the biggest complaint about
the Iron Man movies is that there was very little actual Iron Man,
especially in the third flick. Character building and getting us
invested are important, to be sure, but if if the amount of payoff
is disproportionate to how long we've waited, then we feel like we've
had our time wasted. The Avengers did this as close to perfectly as I
think any movie has. You knew every quiet talky scene was building up
to another explosive fight scene, and it always delivered. Avengers
are being gathered? Let's have them fight Loki. Now there's a lot of
talking and arguing? Uh-oh, Banner's Hulked out. Post-shock
depressing scenes after the battle on the Helicarrier? Well, that's
okay. We know the climactic final fight is on the way.
While I think the superhero movie as a
trend will go away, I seriously doubt the genre will ever really die
out. Let's face it, if the Phantom, Tank Girl and Steel didn't kill
it back in the 90's I doubt there's much that will. Plus, I think
we'll come out of this fad with a better understanding of how
superhero movies can continue to get better for the future, even if
they aren't as frequent.
Of course, Xavier went from being “the
guy with mind powers” to “the guy who the 70's vomited on”, but
we'll see where that goes.
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