After our stop at Chicago's most
unusual hot dog venue, we departed to the magical land of Portland,
Wisconsin...I mean Milwaukee, Oregon...I mean...
Maybe it was just the district we were
in. Maybe it was because Summerfest was happening in roughly the same
area. Maybe we were just being judgmental. There was no denying,
however, that there were a lot of people who's legs were apparently
uncomfortably hot while their heads were apparently uncomfortably
cold.
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| If you or someone you know is afflicted with being a hipster, seek professional help |
Hipster's aside, Milwaukee is a
pleasant place during the summer (which I understand lasts roughly
two days). It has more of a small-town vibe than a big city feel, and
getting around is nowhere near as harrowing an experience as
somewhere like Chicago.
We hadn't come to wonder at the
population of hipsters or the scenery, however. We came for the Comet
Cafe.
STOP THREE
Name: Comet Cafe
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Suggested by: Joemiroquoi
Despite the extensive vegan menu and soda menu consisting of things
“you've probably never heard of”, Comet Cafe and I can find
common ground in one way: we love bacon. Few non-vegan dishes on the
menu are without this champion of meat, and that alone is something I
can appreciate. With that in mind, Joel and I ordered different
variations of the bacon-wrapped meatloaf.
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| More like the MEAT TOWER |
Before a meatloaf at Comet Cafe is cooked, the entire pan is covered
with bacon. Once the beef is prepared and added, the bacon is wrapped
around the entire block, giving every slice an outer shell of pure
goodness.
Joey had come for one thing though, and strangely enough it was one
of the few non-bacon dishes. He had come for the “Thanksgiving in a
Ball”.
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| A dish so American I just saluted thinking about it |
Turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes all rolled up into balls larger
than baseballs and deep fried to perfection. The picture does not do
justice to the magnitude of this dish. Joey looked as one who had
achieved Nirvana, but there was a problem: there was too much food.
He plowed through a ball and a half out of three, and although he
said the food was just as good as the first bite, there was only so
much his system could take. There was no way, however, that we were
going to have driven that far just for him to give up halfway
through. Joey needed inspiration, and we had just the thing.
The previous night we had been playing the fighting game Dead or
Alive 4. There were four catagories of characters in that game for
Joey: Ones he likes, ones that were okay, ones that were bad, and
Akira.
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| Try not to get my gi dirty...my mom just bleached it |
For those who haven't played the game, Dead or Alive relies heavily
on a counter system, meaning you have to be good at predicting the
kind of move your opponent is attempting. Akira's off-tempo style
makes this very, very difficult. Oh the rage, oh the ranting, oh the
insults towards to a set of animations. Joey's loathing of Akira and
everything he does in that game was as passionate as it was
hilarious, and it just might have saved the day. Turning to Joel, I
said the magic words.
“You know, I bet Akira could finish that.”
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| (artist's rendition of the reaction) |
That lit a fire in Joey's eyes. It wasn't pretty, he wasn't in good
shape after, but he conquered the Thanksgiving in a Balls. I'm not
saying we had to get a wheelbarrow to get him out of the
establishment, but I'm not going to formally go on record to say we
didn't.
It was early in the trip for a meal to be so difficult to put down,
and it would only get harder from there. Would the trip south bring
greater challengers? Would we be able to finish everything on our
plates? The quest continues in Martinsville.
