Mike Overthinks: The Holiday Classics

Mike takes a look at some of our most cherished Christmas songs in order to point everything wrong/depressing/horrifying about them.

The Incredible Hulk: SNES

From the depths of yet more computer issues, a new review arrives! Could this be one of the good superhero games out there, or is this in league with the dreaded Superman64?

Just one thing.

I don't care if you're for or against more gun control policies. I don't care what you think of the second amendment, or any other political or philosophic stance you may have on this matter.

All I ask is that you, right now, show those whose lives were lost today the respect of a moment's silence.

Thank you.



*any comments regarding any kind of debate on the subjects mentioned above, or against any previous commenter will be deleted, as soon as I see them, without warning. The scheduled video will be posted tomorrow.

Trailer Trasher: The Croods

Is this caveman adventure story going to be a family classic, or will it be dead as the neanderthals?

Trailer Trashing: Man of Steel

So the last Superman movie  (Superman Returns) was not the comeback DC wanted for the Man of Steel. Sure, it didn't bomb like, oh, I don't know, movies about an anti-heroine with a penchant for feline emulation, but it just wasn't what the company needed to bring the Superman movies back. I think a lot of this came down to the story. Brandon Routh was a decent last son of Krypton as far as his acting, though I think people were bothered by how skinny he was.

Jeez, someone get Superman a sandwich.

But the story is what just killed this movie. It wasn't bad, per-say, it was just bland. Lex Luthor has an evil plot to get rich, Lois Lane is kidnapped and a call is sent to Superman, who Luthor repels with kryptonite but ends up saving the day anyway.

There were NO surprises in this movie, except maybe that Superman had a son with Lois Lane who kind of has super powers. Even that little twist works against it, however, as Superman doesn't actually take any responsibility for the boy in the end. Defender of truth and justice indeed, though I must admit, I enjoyed how everyone but Lois Lane at one point or another suspects that Kent is Superman. I don't know, I was amused.

Whoa, whoa. Kent might be Superman?!

That wasn't enough to save the movie, however, and the rebooted Superman movie franchise died as quickly as it had come.

But now with the monumental success of “The Dark Knight” trilogy, DC is ready to try again with another Nolan piece, “Man of Steel.” There's only one trailer out for the movie at the time I'm writing this, and it's...well, interesting is certainly a word that would fit.

So, is “Man of Steel” some kind of metaphor for a “Deadliest Catch” movie? That's Henry Cavill as Superman, who you should recognize as Theseus from “Immortals” or as Albert Mondego from “The Count of Monte Cristo.” But how convincing will he look in the blue tights?

Well, if nothing else, Cavill has sheer size on Routh. Looking at the two, who would you think of more as a super strong, invincible hero? Yeah, Cavill wins that hands down. Going back to the trailer, what is with them being on a boat, or with Superman just wandering down the street? Why is the music painfully clearly form Lord of the Rings?

Here are my theories: in this movie, Nolan isn't going to focus on the powers, but how a supernaturally powered alien would feel, well, alienated from his surroundings. It's the kind of realist approach that made the Batman movies so great, after all. This Kent may well be on the boat and the street because it lets him keep his distance from the rest of the world, which could be supported by the speech from who I'm guessing is either Pa Kent or Jor-El. In it, he's urging Clark/Kal to use his abilities to make an impact on humanity, be it for better or worse. I think Superman's real journey is going to be coming to terms with his status as an alien while still working for the benefit, and possibly acceptance of his adopted world.

But why is he in handcuffs in the picture above, surrounded by soldiers? I think he's trying to show the world he's not a threat by willingly going into government custody. If you look at him, he's not beat up, he doesn't look like he was hit with kryptonite, those are ordinary handcuffs, and hell, his HAIR isn't even out of place. To me, this all points to him stating “I'm not here to hurt anyone, see? I'm going quietly, though I could clearly escape if I wanted and there is jack-point-nothing you could do about it if I did.”

The villain of this film is going to be General Zod, who I think is perfect for the kind of movie I've predicted above. Zod is Clark's philosophic opposite, believing that his inhuman powers give him authority to rule over humans rather than the responsibility to defend them from their midst. He doesn't have any cronies that I see in the IMDB cast list, which gives him alone more freedom to be a foil to Superman.

Honestly, my hopes are really high for this movie. We're not given a lot of what it's about from the promotional material, as is the way with Nolan, but I'm excited about what we are getting to see.

As for the Lord of the Rings music...er...put it in the same category as the giant rabbit from Iron Man 3.

Iron Man 3: The Trailer

So if we make it past Dec. 21, then we'll probably be around for the third installment of the Iron Man series with Robert Downy Jr.

Man, that trailer is dark, isn't it? The hero getting the snot kicked out of him, a real feeling that maybe this one won't have a happy ending, that maybe these odds are truly insurmountable?

Does anyone else just think “Dark Knight Rises” from that description? I mean, okay, it's obviously got some differences, being Iron Man and all, but my first impression of the trailer was that it was trying to look like the end of the Nolan trilogy.

Except for that bunny. The hell was with that?

So let's get down to the brass tax with this trailer. Going on with the tradition of each movie having a new suit that improves on the last on, Tony Stark's new armor can fly through the air to him piece by piece, obviously an upgraded version of his armor at the “Avenger's” climax which could automatically deploy, but was a little slow in getting on him. Also, the star-spangled armor is obviously War Machine.

But then we have this bizarre moment where Tony is in bed with Pepper, and she is grabbed. It's really quick, but we see the Iron Man armor standing over them. My prediction? That's just a dream, as he mentions he's having nightmares.

Obviously the villain is the Mandarin in this one. The rings are just a dead giveaway. It looks to me like they're going to go the Joker route with his character: not really a front-line guy, but a planner with frankly ridiculous resources. The “the thing about heroes” lines really sounded like something the Joker would have said in that interrogation scene.

AND he has a viking beard? Can he be stopped!?

So what about the armors exploding? What about Pepper with that other guy? Or Tony on the surgical table? I don't think the armors getting destroyed is part of the missiles from the helicopter, but that the trailer wants us to think that they were. I wouldn't be surprised if this went the Spider Man 2 route, where Tony Stark tries to give up being Iron Man and destroys his suits. Maybe he thinks War Machine has it handled, or that the world doesn't need him anymore. Maybe he just wants to escape the nightmares.

Of course, if this is the case, the villain will show up, he'll be forced out of retirement, and he'll find that the world will always need him.

Now I'm not saying this is definitely how the movie will go, but it's the impression I get with the trailer. It looks like the Dark Knight Rises trailer, advertising for a Spider Man 2-like plot. I think it will be a lot more light-hearted than the trailer is letting on, but will hopefully be a more solid picture than Iron Man 2.

Although seriously, what the hell was with that bunny?

I mean...really.