Real Steel

Let's get one thing clear right off the bat: the Rocky movies are excellent. Yes, even the fourth one where he fights a laboratory made Russian super villain. But do you know what would have made that movie better? If Ivan Drago was a robot instead. In fact, it would have been even better if Rocky was a robot too. Also, Hugh Jackman needs to be worked into this somehow.

Yes, today's review is on Real Steel, or as many like to call it: Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots: The Movie. Hey, Adam Sandler is helping to make a CandyLand movie, so why not?

I'm calling 70% of the movie will be Gloppy the fudge monster jokes.

Our hero, played by Hugh “The Jack-Man” Jackman, is a down on his luck ex-boxer and robot fighter who's been on a losing streak as long as an inchworm isn't. Through the magic of improbable plot, he has to spend a summer with his 11 year old son (for who's life he has been mostly absent) in order to get the money to pay off his debts. The two are able to bond over robot boxing, and start the climb to fight their way to the top.

Okay, this plot is beyond silly, and what of it doesn't involve giant robots is pretty standard. It's a usual father-earning-his-son's-respect story, but it's done well. There's a sort of mystery about the robot, as to whether it's actually alive. It kind of hints at it being able to hear the kid, and there's one scene where it stares itself in the mirror, but it's very ambiguous, and the characters don't really discuss it. I think that's okay, and it let's the audience believe what they want to believe.

There are a few flaws, mainly in character development. I would have like to see more about Jackman's character's past as a boxer, and maybe see more of the transition. The CGI can also be very noticeable at times, though most of the time it works just fine.

Now if they had the robot fight the megashark...

Is this a movie that you really have to think about? No. My goodness no. That said, it is an enjoyable flick, and I would heartily suggest giving it a rent.

Bridesmaids

There are some movies that have just been hyped up beyond all hope. You hear everyone and their Aunt Betty going on and on about how fantastic it is, and how you should really go see it. This was one of those movies. I had heard a load of people raving about one such piece called Bridesmaids. I heard how it was the female Hangover, and how it was the funniest movie of the last few years. So a few weeks ago I finally picked up a copy and sat down to what I thought was going to just be this Godsend of comedy.

It was...okay. I guess.

Alright, I will grant that there are good scenes. The dress fitting scene is a riot, and the airplane scene (though I have problems with it I'll bring up later) gets a good number of laughs. However, I have some major problems with this movie, and they mainly boil down to one thing: the main character.

Yeah, keep smiling.

I hate this main character. Really, I do. She is such a self-centered idiot that I have trouble even finding her funny. I know she's in an unfortunate situation, but I don't get any sense that she's putting in the remotest effort to make it better. Take a scene where she's at work in a jewelry store: a couple comes in for an engagement ring, and because she feels jaded about her own love life, she gives a condescending speech about how you should never trust anyone, driving the two from the store. Of course, the big bad manager has to come and kick her while she's down.

I reward those who increase sales and admonish those who lose me costumers. I am truly the devil.

This isn't cute, or free-spirited. Likewise, going back to the airplane scene, I know she's supposed to be afraid of flying, but when you accept unkown pills from your sworn blood-enemy, then drink, You. Deserve. What. Happens. Hell, it goes better than what she probably would have gotten in the real world: a moderate case of death.

What whacky fun! 

But what really sold me on this character being nothing short of the villain was when *spoiler alert* the friend who was supposed to be getting married that day goes missing. She could have gone to any cop in the whole area, but she singles out the one that has a completely legitimate beef with her, in an attempt to make amends and get back together with him. I just...I can't...YOUR FRIEND IS MISSING, DEAL WITH THAT FIRST YOU SELF-CENTERED WITCH.

Getting past the main character though, there's just too much going on. There's the guy who just wants her for sex, there's the cop who's nice to her but she can't bring herself to trust, there's the friend's wedding, there's the woman who's bored with her husband vs. the newlywed, there's the failed bakery...it just goes on and on. It needed to focus on one plot point and develop it.

Will you laugh at this movie? Yes. There are a some funny, even laugh out loud scenes. Is it the greatest comedy flick this side of 2010? By absolutely no means.