I'm going to be honest: I'm not all
that up on my Lone Ranger mythos. I know that he's kind of a
superhero, sort of a Batman or Green Hornet (the Adam West era
versions) of the wild west, I know his horse is named silver, and I
know that there is a good chance that this movie will become Johnny
Depp is a Native American: the movie.
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| Man, just look at me be eccentric. |
Now I don't know a lot about the Lone
Ranger, but I know a lot about what happens when Johnny Depp is given
a role that is supposed to be a supporting one: it becomes the Johnny
Depp Show. Remember the newest Alice in Wonderland and how
that movie is, shockingly enough, supposed to be a bout the titular
“Alice”? Yeah, I defy you to tell me that movie wasn't way to
much about Depp's Mad Hatter. I mean, seriously, the dance he does at
the end? Why? What was the point outside of having him to something
quirky? Same goes for his Willy Wonka in Charlie
and the Chocolate Factory. That
movie was not about Charlie, it was about Willy, and I think the
movie was weaker for it.
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| Note who is in the center here, aka NOT ALICE |
That's
not an attack against Johnny Depp. I'm sure he's a great guy, and for
the charmingly eccentric niche that he fills, he's probably the best
that there is. This is kind of an attack on the marketing and editing
departments of the projects that he's attached. I'm sure everyone in
the production was given memos about making sure they got everything
out of Depp that was humanly possible so they could go to town with
the marketing later.
Which
brings me back to The
Lone Ranger.
As someone who is not really steeped in the story of the character,
my primary fear is that this movie is not going to be about the Lone
Ranger, but about Tonto, or rather, it's going to try to be about the
Lone Ranger, but all the good lines/scenes and memorable moments are
going to be given to Tonto to remind us all “hey, there's Johnny
Depp.”
Breaking
away from Depp, my next biggest issue going from the trailer is the
lack of practical effects. Like I say when the train piece flies off,
it comes off as gimmicky. Essentially everything that's over the top,
with the train scene bearing special mention, is quite obviously CGI,
and it kind of pulls me out of it. I had the same reaction to the
Goblin King in “The Hobbit” (see GotRT podcast #3).
Looking
at some of the marketing for the game, a predominant thing that comes
up is the Lego Lone Ranger line, with a few 3D models that bear a
resemblance to the Lego video game franchises. If they're already
considering a game, it concerns me on the one hand that this may just
be a reboot they made just in the hopes of a cash cow (though really,
is there any other kind?) but on the other, maybe if they're going
this deep into marketing and products, then they've put a lot into
the movie as well.
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| Hi-Ho...plastic? Away? |
So
sign me on as pessimistic, but that doesn't mean I'm not open to
being wrong.
